ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You just made me feel so damn special
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
