I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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