I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
