When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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