the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
third nipple confirmed
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
