in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
