Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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