your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
