there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
