how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
