just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
