honey bunches of taint.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
