Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
