matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
