Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
