Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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