your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
