I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
