My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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