My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
