@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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