38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
