Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Holy sore nipples Batman
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
