yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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