So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
