I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
