Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
