pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
