Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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