Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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