the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize