Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
