She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
