I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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