Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you had me at cake vodka
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
