So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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