and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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