ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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