did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
