It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
