I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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