3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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