Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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