You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
