dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
