The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
