i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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