So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
