I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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