Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
