i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
