Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
