Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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