mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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