Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
