Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
